there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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