I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
