i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I need a beard to bite.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
