You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
