I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
