you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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