Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
