what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
