Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
