a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
