hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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