Your tits are I can't wait for
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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