Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
