Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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