Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
