I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
