I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
