I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize