so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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