11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
