i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
