watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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