apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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