Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
