you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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