Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I will be naked everywhere
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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