my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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