I think I died a long time ago.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
