White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
