im drinking this country out of the recession.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
