arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
