Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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