You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
