its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I wear drunk well.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
