if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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