Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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