She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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