I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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