google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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