I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I could fuck to npr.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
