if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
