Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
