I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
