What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
