I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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