I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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