Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
