Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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