Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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