Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
