Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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