I only kidnapped one of them. chill
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
