Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
please come you make the beer taste better
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize