Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
