names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
