That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
