All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
