Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
