hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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