Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
