STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
