Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
